When it comes to marriage, we’ve talked about everything from funny complaints to how to make sex great, and we’ve collected valuable reader feedback over the years. Here are some favorites…
According to great advice:
“People often say that communication is the key to a successful marriage, but I disagree. I believe it is friendly communication. Communication won’t help your marriage if you only say unkind things. Kindness (and generosity) is key.” — Whitney
“It will be 9 years for us in September, and we have always slept under different covers. When our friends and family found out, they made fun of us, but it turned into a half-asleep game of tug-of-war in the middle of the night, always using the same sign. Now each of us has a blanket made of our preferred fabric and weight. bliss. A friend recently gave me marriage advice: ‘Do what will cause the least amount of resentment between you two.’ Life lesson right there! — Holly
Pleasant Rituals:
“Simple, good moments are the ones my partner and I turn into a routine. We take a steady walk around 10pm before going to bed. Even when we’re stuck on a train, we have haiku contests. The key is to choose a random topic and keep your haiku under one minute. And when any of us are nervous about a job interview or a difficult conversation at work, we might remind the nervous person, ‘I will never love you more or less, regardless of the outcome.’ “It helps to be reminded of that.” – Hanna
When you know it’s them:
“One of the moments when I knew my husband was the person I should never let go of was in the middle of the night, just a few months into our relationship. He was a very good sleeper, but he rolled over and slammed into me. Even though he was half asleep he was so worried and made sure I was okay. (I was totally fine with that). At that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace that he was the most loving, gentle, and kind person I had ever known. Almost four years of marriage, two overseas moves, multiple career changes, and some very scary medical issues later… He was a lot better than I thought he would be that night.” — A girl named Allyn
How to keep the spark alive:
“I’ve never considered myself a ‘physical touch’ person, but my husband certainly is. After 11 years of marriage and turning 40, he will still spin me around and hang out with me in our kitchen. He still stays sexy and it feels amazing to feel loved even after having kids, gaining weight and working long hours at work.” — Dana
When compromising:
“We can have controversial approaches to almost everything in our marriage. This means that decisions will be made by those with better skills, better vision, and better abilities. My husband is amazing – amazing! — From bathing a wriggling baby to making an old birthday cake recipe ‘just like your grandmother used to make,’ you get to do a lot of things. And he’s crap at decorating. When I met him, the 26-year-old owned the world’s most scratchy sheets and stored his books in a plastic milk crate. So when it comes to decorating my house, I always ask for his opinion, which we both know is usually ignored by me. And we’re both good at it. “In particular, it means that we organize things the way we want, so our children are clean and everyone is eating delicious cake in the evening.” —Hillary
How to deal with change:
“The amazing woman who is now my partner was a vegetarian, just like me, when we met. When we had been dating for about 2 years, she said she wanted to eat meat. I was completely shocked. But the important thing is that rather than taking me by his side and just following me, he told me that he wanted to change. I am grateful that she not only knew me well enough to know that I would object to her eating her meat, but that she respected me enough to speak her mind to me. We talked about it for months and eventually came up with some ground rules for what our new eating ritual would look like. Change in your partner (and yourself) is inevitable. “The important thing is to respect each other in the process.” – Sarah
“I met my husband in high school and we started dating almost 25 years ago. One of my relationship hacks is to keep a photo of the 17-year-old by my side and remind myself how lucky I am that he’s not the one who got away. We have both grown and changed so much. But when I think about the feelings I had when I first loved someone new and the intensity of young love that has now passed, I am reminded that the feelings I had were for this person in front of me right now… “The handsome 17-year-old boy in the photo.” — Lauren
What would you like to add? We want to hear…
PS Readers comment on the love and best relationship advice they’ve ever received.
(Photo credit: Irina Bo/Stocksy.)
