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Build social connections by purchasing experiences instead of possessions

MONews
7 Min Read

Build social connections by purchasing experiences instead of possessions

Shared experiences, more than material things, bring people together.

Humans are “social animals,” as Aristotle suggested. We are fundamentally Must belong. But we live in an era when the U.S. surgeon general has issued the following warning: The plague of loneliness And isolation. Lack of social connection can have negative consequences for both our mental and physical health. healthSo how can we encourage the sense of connection that is essential to our well-being?

Over the past several years, my colleagues and I have conducted scientific research suggesting that experiential purchases, such as travel, dining at restaurants, outdoor activities, and recreation, tend to attract people. More happiness More material things (e.g. clothing, furniture, and electronics). Recent researchPsychologists Thomas Gilovich of Cornell University, Thomas C. Mann of Harvard University, and I have investigated another consequence of spending money on experiences rather than stuff: It can create greater feelings of social connection.

We conducted 13 experiments with 1,980 participants. The specific approach of each study varied, but in some of these experiments we asked people to think about an experiential or material purchase and then rate their thoughts and feelings about that purchase on a 9-point scale. In some studies, people reported feeling closer to someone who made the same experiential purchase than to someone who made the same material purchase. Owning the same T-shirt or sneakers as someone else is an interesting coincidence, but hiking the same trail or seeing the same achievements makes people feel more connected. ConnectedOur experiments suggest that experiential purchases are more central to a person’s identity. Our data show that people feel more similar and closer to those who purchase experiences similar to their own, because they believe that this type of consumption better represents their true and essential sense of self.


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Moreover, these results also apply when people think about how their experiences are perceived. different. We asked participants to consider situations in which they had encountered someone else who had made a similar experiential or material purchase, but whose purchase was superior, or an “upgrade,” in some way. (For example, if the material possession was a necklace, participants considered someone who had bought a more extravagant necklace than they had. In the case of experiences, this might mean that someone had a better seat at a concert they had attended.) Even in these cases, experiences were more likely to foster connections between people than material items.

Knowing that someone else has a better version of what you have can create social distance. However, our observations suggest that this distance is less wide when it comes to experiential purchases than it is for material purchases. While unpleasant social comparisons and material arms races may be common in the realm of possessions, it may be easier for people to find common ground and connect with others through similar experiences.

We also found that experiential consumption fostered feelings of social connectedness not only among people who made similar purchases, but also more broadly. People who reflected on acquired experiences rather than material goods reported a greater sense of connection to humanity. For example, they were less likely to agree with statements such as “I feel too distant from people” and “I feel disconnected from the world around me” when they considered experiences than when they considered material possessions.

Finally, we found that after people thought about a satisfying experience, they had a greater desire to engage in social activities than after they thought about a significant possession. Participants who were asked to recall experiential purchases were more likely to choose social activities when asked how they would like to spend their leisure time than those who were asked to think about material purchases.

Experiences connect us to others and provide memories of those connections that people can revisit. These memories can in turn encourage further social engagement. Even after spending money and consuming an experience, experiential purchases continue to be in the social relationships they help cultivate.

One clear conclusion from this study, like much of the research on experiential spending and happiness to date, is that people would be wise to focus their spending on “doing” rather than “having.” But our research also points to another implication: Communities could benefit in many ways by encouraging experiential pursuits. For example, policymakers could support access to parks, beaches, and museums. Improving funding for the arts and performing arts venues could be a way for communities to ensure that shared experiences continue to bring people together. The National Endowment for the Arts emphasized:. Our research suggests that such investments can start a virtuous cycle: investing resources in greater community engagement can improve social well-being.

Are you a scientist specializing in neuroscience, cognitive science, or psychology? And have you read a recent peer-reviewed paper that you would like to contribute to Mind Matters? Please send us your suggestions. Scientific American‘Mind Matters editor Daisy Yuhas at Please email us at dyuhas@sciam.com..

This is an opinion and analysis article and the views of the author do not necessarily reflect those of the author. Scientific American.

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