All my family members’ faces appear in my earliest memories. When I had chickenpox when I was three, it was my Tia Mimi who gave me a warm oatmeal bath and gently applied Pepto-Bismol-Pink Calamine lotion to my itchy arms and legs. When I was eight years old, I hit a frozen, dusty road while jumping my bike, and it was my friend Alex who shook the dirt off my knees. My daughter Alex was also the adult who picked me up from after-school care the day my mother went into labor with her brother. As I climbed into the backseat of his black Jeep, I missed my mom for a moment. But when my friend started the car, a Beastie Boys bass intro came on. brass monkey As soon as I hit the stereo, my fear disappeared. I knew I was with one of the safest people in my life.
The reason all my childhood stories and moments big and small are marked by different tias, tios, grandparents, and guest appearances by first and second cousins is because we lived in the same city growing up and saw each other all. that. hour. Perfect for holidays, birthdays, graduations, and random family barbecues. For the new year, we reorganized the living room to ensure there was enough space for all 40 people to dance. mana. And when one of our kids played soccer, we expected The whole family can be seen taking up more than half of the lawn with camping chairs and homemade signs.
As I got older and started thinking about going to college and making my own life, I had no intention of being close to my family. Yes, I have experienced the pros but also the cons. It’s like everyone always knows my business and feels empowered to talk to me about it. And as I became an adult, I became more aware of the mistakes and difficulties of my relatives. It is always a shocking and sometimes hurtful revelation.
I moved to San Francisco to attend college. It was only an hour’s drive, but it was still far enough for my Tias, Tios, and cousins to find out who I was other than “Jannelley,” the shy but sassy girl they loved. After graduation, I ended up moving back in with my parents to pay off my student loans. Although part of me was curious about exploring new cities and new sights outside of California. Every time I saw an Instagram photo of a childhood friend building a house in a new state, I felt a strange sense of envy and pride.
When I became pregnant with my daughter Ella, the thought of moving away from home became even more realistic. After months of looking through Zillow listings to see what would be the best fit for my husband and I career- and finance-wise, we had two options. Building a life in a Midwestern state where we knew no one. Or settle in a small farming town an hour’s drive from our hometown.
Until that moment, I always thought I would choose the option with the most uncertainty and risk, which obviously meant going out of state. But when it came down to it, our decision became very clear. So three years later, as I type from that small farming town, I hear my mother-in-law cooing at my baby Emiliano and watch my father-in-law playing with Ella in the backyard. My parents moved here a year after us, and now live a five-minute drive away. One of my favorite things to do is meet them at my local coffee shop. And Fridays are always a standing dinner date so I look forward to it.
This Thanksgiving, I plan to drive about an hour to my hometown, have Thanksgiving lunch at my grandmother’s house, and have Thanksgiving dinner at my husband’s nanny’s house. And while I was having fun eating thick slices of my favorite pumpkin pie. charlie brown thanksgivingI’m really looking forward to seeing my all-Tia smothering both my kids’ cheeks with kisses and my boisterous Nick tossing Ella in the air. These are the people I feel safest with, and I love how living close to them has woven them into the fabric of my daily life.
JanelleHer older brother Jordan and cousin David.
How about you? Do you live near family? Or would you do it if you could?
PS An easy way to bond with your family and where did you grow up?
(Photo courtesy: Modern Family)
