As you get older, your mind makes interesting calculations. It makes me nauseous to think about how quickly the last 20 years have passed. Last year, a few months before my 40th birthday, I kept doing the math.
Fast forward 20 years and I would already be 60 years old. That means I’m basically already 80 years old.
Time x Speed = Lifespan
I felt like a life-sized cardboard cutout of the new millennial midlife crisis.
To my horror, I continued to write, disoriented. I felt like a woman walking the plank. Everyone said life was just beginning, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that every day it was slipping through my fingers and I was powerless to stop it.
When my sense of self was shattered around me, I saw the lies come into focus.
We are told that we can be anyone and anything we want.
But the options are endless and time is limited.
It will never be enough.
As I faced what my math revealed about myself and the truth about time and speed, I saw my crisis telling me how I wanted to spend the rest of my life. So I put on my big girl pants, turned to the secret I kept neatly hidden under my pillow at night, and let it out into the light.
Then a new truth appeared to replace the lies.
You have everything you need within you.
You are whole. You are enough.
I did not despair of my decline into obscurity. I longed for the experience of denying myself. Life was not about surviving and existing. It was about feeling whole and human. Create space for joyDesire, joy, pleasure, connection, love, wonder.
Life was just beginning and I was learning to slow down and enjoy it.
Pursuing slowness when the pace of life speeds up
My life is getting faster and faster as I demand to slow down. There will never be a busier season in your life. Our children are blossoming on their own, which allows us to make friends, hobbies, sports, and memories as a family. Joe is entering a season of his career where he wants to test his limits, grow himself, and use his talents to see what is possible.
And me. Even today, I find myself full of energy to put out into the world.
What should one do when the fullness of life threatens to sweep away the ability to appreciate life itself?
I have made progress. slow down Every day, even when everything is swirling around me. I started small with the smallest adjustments. Today I’m writing about why slowing down is so important to me and how I’m practicing slowness in this busy season of life.
Why slowing down is important to me
I’m tired. It was one of the big secrets I kept under my pillow. Life is busy and I no longer have the energy to show off and cheer myself up. But what I can do is slow down enough to notice when I need a break.
The dichotomy of feeling tired to the bone and having a new sense of purpose in life is fascinating. It’s like learning to tame a new breed of beast that responds to gentleness rather than dominant alpha control. Life is busy, getting things done is important, and having fun is important too. So what does balance look like? How is it possible to slow down during this busy season of life?
I don’t have a perfect system. But I have no intention of “maintaining” or going back to how I feel. a general sense of deprivation. Instead, I have a values-based approach, a willingness to continue practicing these habits, and a lot of forgiveness for myself. Because I’m tired. And I am alive.
How to Slow Down: 7 Ways to Slow Down During the Busy Seasons of Life
1. Pay attention to physical signals.
As I rush through life, I realize that my pace is reflected through the physical signals of my body. Some examples include:
- clenched jaw
- Short and shallow breathing, when deep breathing is unnatural
- If you hold the steering wheel tightly when driving
- The appearance of hunched shoulders when sitting
- Clumsiness and dropping things
The most important thing for me when practicing slowness is to notice these physical reactions and gently redirect them. I relax my chin, take a few slow, deep breaths, relax my hands on the wheel, and sit up straight with my shoulders relaxed. Keep in mind that your physical response to busyness may be different than mine. Find out what it is for you and slowly begin to change direction.
2. Monotasking.
All my life I have had a tendency to multitask. At one point last month, I was making plans, writing invitations, and texting people all at the same time. When you live a busy life and are trying to do multiple things at the same time, you become more stressed and much more likely to make mistakes.
Now, when I find myself multitasking, I try to change direction. Pause, choose one thing to focus on, and when you’re done, move on to the next task.
3. Lower your expectations.
Even though I’ve made it a priority to slow down, I sometimes feel like I need to be able to live up to the same expectations as I do when I’m busy living life. If you think about it logically, you know this is impossible.
I haven’t perfected the art of setting expectations yet, but I’m trying to be more honest with myself. I’m trying to convey to the people in my life what is feasible. When I can’t get everything done, I try not to stress about it. Because most of the time, if I’m being completely honest, things that I feel pressured to get done can be put off. In most cases, you can wait.
like i wrote Recent House Call Posts“When you can’t rush to do everything, you have to do less, and doing less means knowing what’s important.” This leads to the next point.
4. Focus on what matters most.
There are still things to do every day, whether for work or personal life. I’ve always had a tendency to procrastinate when I feel overwhelmed, which only leads to future stress and rushing. I am doing what I can to change this trend. Instead of avoiding it, I’m learning to sit with the urge to procrastinate and the discomfort that comes with doing hard work.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I find it helpful to do one small, easy task first. These small accomplishments give me a little dopamine boost, give me momentum and make me feel like I can do other things. Then move on to larger, higher priority tasks and give yourself enough time (more time than you think you need) to complete them. Rather than completely avoiding important tasks, I am being considerate of my present and future self by giving myself time and space to complete important tasks.
5. Remove filler.
I find that the more free time I have, the better I like to slow down in my daily life. Responding to every text message and spending less time on distractions like scrolling through your phone can slow down your life.
I’ve also become ruthless with myself about actually enjoying what I consume. I would rather sit quietly than listen to a podcast. I find that most TV shows on Netflix aren’t worth your time.
But this is about what you want. No one can tell you what you like.
So be selective about what you enjoy. If devouring reality TV is something you find restorative, make it a priority. If you feel like it’s going to get in your way, let it go. Only you can be honest with yourself about what commands your precious attention. Wield it like it was yours.
6. Accept my humanity.
Accepting my humanity is an important step in giving myself the grace to slow down. I’ve made more mistakes than usual in the last two weeks. Every mistake affected my self-esteem and my family, and that made it real.
I can beat myself up for mistakes, but that doesn’t make me special, broken, or different from anyone else.
Damn—many-It’s part of life. It’s something we all share.
It’s also one of the best ways to connect with people. Without perfection and optimization, we have the opportunity to connect with what it means to be human. We tend to believe that if we disclose our lived experiences we will be rejected, but this is often not the case.
Yes, people judge. And honestly, there’s no better way to figure out who you need to kick out within yourself. But there are plenty of people (perhaps people you want to keep around) who will see you through your mistakes and make you feel validated. . Slowing down helped me break the cycle of self-shame and opened up opportunities to deepen my relationships.
7. Set interpersonal boundaries.
Sometimes you need to say “no” to slow down. One of the ways I’ve had to set boundaries during this season of life is by refusing to travel on holidays. This is inconvenient. I don’t like it. But we are being kind when we are honest with others about our limitations. we say, I want to be with you *when* I can be with you. It is not an add-on, add-on or obligation. No one wants that.
Setting boundaries with those closest to us can be difficult and uncomfortable. But when you say “yes” to everything, you give up the truth of your experience. We think this is altruistic, but in doing so we don’t allow those who love us to support us in the way we need to be supported.
Time is a funny thing. When life speeds up, it can be scary to slow down. That is until you realize that there is more to life when you are there to fully experience it.
Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning tennis and will learn to play tennis for the rest of her life. Test the boundaries of her creative abilities. Follow her on Instagram. @witanddelight_.
