Like most of my life, I approach six children in a slightly different style. I am known to wash my hair with mud and clean my teeth with charcoal, and it is non -traditional for raising children. Today I share how this approach looks, how it has evolved over the years, and how it is related to home school trips.
I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but if I talk about my story, I hope you will be able to resonate with you. I always try to learn something from everyone I meet, and I hope to approach this idea with the same open mind! Even if you do not have a home school, we found the first principle approach to parenting.
You are your own infinite autonomous being
Yes, it’s pretty mouth, but I really believe in people! And because my children are people, I treat them in the same way. I start here because this idea is the basis for all other parenting decisions I have made. I see my children in essence, competent, and wise. They are naturally full of curiosity, creativity, and ability to think about it.
Are you sure?
Well, there is one example. In 1968, a pair of researchers began to study the creativity of 1,600 preschoolers. Their goal was to see how many children met the creation of creative geniuses. Those who can solve the problem solve, think critical and think outside the box.
They found that 98%of young children scored as creative geniuses. When they tested the same children between the ages of 10 and 15, their creativity score plunged to 12%. Adult groups in their 30s who have received the same test? They scored in 2%creativity. “If you don’t use it if you don’t use it,” that old words also apply to our creativity and decision -making process!
Paradigm
The biggest takeout in 1968 is that children were born with this technology. Learning these things changed the idea of how I wanted to approach my children. I do not want to form children with pre -defined mold of the person I think of. Instead, my childcare tries to respect them as a whole.
Part of this approach is to use inherent (not external motivation). Yes. Cookie sticker charts and promises for rewards can get the actions we want. But when children can make their own decisions and see their value, they are more likely to have more positive habits. Unlike traditional parenting (and education), this approach prioritizes connection and trust in different ways.
I will admit that older children are much more structural when they are young! I even gained some momentum from them about how my parenting changed with their young brothers. It is interesting to see their different opinions, but again, they are their own people.
Parenting as a guide and partner
I believe that my children have been born as a natural wisdom to their bodies, but wisdom also develops as I get older. I know that I have received great benefits from the shared life experience and wisdom of others for several years. In the same way, as a mother, I see a mentor and a guide for children.
This includes respecting your child’s feelings, needs and experiences instead of simply relying on your own assumptions. I also do not try to force them to work and make them make a decision based on their information. One way I do is to model positive behavior.
Many people were surprised when I told you that I wouldn’t make children eat healthy foods! I can make sure that healthy food is stored in my house and use it for them, but it depends on them. And if they say they want to eat at a friend’s house, they must learn how to make a wise choice. With some guidance, children can learn what foods make you feel good and strong, and what foods are and what foods are.
I also claim that we can’t do anything. Ask your parents of infants who don’t want to eat broccoli!
Some of this is to help my children learn how to control their feelings. Some (most) parenting can be difficult. This can cause a lot of overwhelming and challenging emotions. Instead of being responsible for my children, I am responsible for my parents’ trigger.
Make it unbearable
Another lesson that I learned a difficult way is that the children are attractive that we are out of limits. When I was in my teens, I wanted to penetrate my second ear. But my parents said they refused. When I left home as an adult, I decided to pierce. At some point I was up to 33 piercings.
I finally realized that I didn’t need much or I really didn’t want it. It wasn’t comfortable to sleep anymore! Recently I had a complete moment with my teenage daughter. She asked for a second ear piercing and I was happy to be curious about it with her. We discussed what she thought, why she wanted, and helped her make a decision based on information. It was also healed to me that she could explore the decision and talk in some way.
Critics can argue that children cannot learn the essential motives and boundaries unless they give an external limit. But I think that a true structure arises when children get experiments, failures and space to learn within a safe limit. The idea for me is to develop a strong relationship with parents through connections instead of coercion.
Education has been reconstructed
In all words, my childcare approach also affects home schooling. I want to think of it as a curiosity -based approach to children. When my oldest approach was first approached in the school age, I remember reading many parenting and educational books. What I found is that many people have not resonated in the way my children want to learn and grow.
After a lot of research (and trial and error), I adopted some key elements about children’s education.
- Instead of external compensation and punishment, the essential motivation is prioritized.
- To lead my children to be interested
- Learning through real life skills
Everyone will have their own way of approaching their children’s education, and some of them depend on the state’s requirements. We live quite free for home schooling regulations. So our children can see what the Lord needs very quickly in the box, and you can move freely with what I think as a real learning!
In real life
So what does this look like?
We don’t have a typical home school day, but we recommend that children are interested in what they are interested in. For a son, it means reading a lot of books every week. In recent years, my daughter means planning and running a total room remodeling in the house. Complete with a rolling ladder, including a room layout plan, a budget set and a library. They took classes on anatomy, science and other topics according to their passion.
I encourage real life skills. Each of my children has a contract with an agreement that there is no mobile phone or car until a profitable business for a year. We take a lot of tours, show our leadership with ownership, and follow our plans.
Non -traditional educational case
This approach can be shocked to some people. Do we need all school subjects every day? Doesn’t it have to be in the classroom for 8 hours? How about a multiple choice test page? None of these things are essentially bad or wrong, but I will challenge the fact that they are needed for true education.
When I go back to elementary school education, I rarely remember the facts I learned in textbooks. What I remember is the experience and pursuit of challenging and interesting for me.
Really shocking? I literally knew that if children who did not receive a formal school decided to go to college later, it would take less than a year to follow his colleagues. The important key here is to catch up quickly when you have an internal motive to learn. My friend Jesse Elder had a similar experience. He never had a traditional school, but never interfered with becoming a successful entrepreneur. You can hear more about his story in the podcast.
Researchers know for more than 10 years that children who are not fully flourish in the university environment. They mentioned that students who did not go to college (including the Ivy League School) can easily be adjusted to their studies to quickly choose the necessary skills. Students reported that self -motivation and self -learning were more advantageous than colleagues. 20-50%of these students pursued STEM career that required high-quality mathematics and science courses.
Solve concerns about non -traditional parenting
One of the general concerns is that the structure of this child -led approach may be insufficient. But I found that children could start learning internal training through some help and maps. If you are not used to it, it may take the adjustment period.
What is the socialization of another general opposition? Children home schooling among youth groups, track meetings, tumbling classes and other groups can have many socialization opportunities! We also challenge the idea that children should be with their colleagues all day long. Having a group that is mixed with age and diversity helps to learn how to interact with all kinds of people.
Example of this approach to education
The ideas that deviate from existing education are mental leap for most people. In my study, I found an interesting example of this throughout history.
Thomas Edison, one of the most influential inventors in history, was fired in his local school. Teachers said they couldn’t learn him “added” and sent him home. For a total of three months in a traditional school, Edison instead received home schooling by default. He taught himself through reading, research and experiments.
Another example is Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the phone. He dropped out before he went to school for about four years and became his scholar. Prolifier writer Agatha Christie also received home schooling and taught at a young age. Abraham Lincoln was home school and usually processed. Sandra Day O’Connor, the first female Supreme Court judge, certified a strong foundation for critical thinking in her early home school days.
There are more examples of this, but I think you get an idea! More personally, I saw the creativity of my children. My children continue to surprise me with a much better solution than I could give to them!
Main takeout and last thought
This approach requires more from parents, but I knew that deeper connections and trust were worth it. I’m definitely not perfect, but I try to treat my children as their own infinite autonomy. Curiosity is to approach them and to develop their natural skills.
I know that this method is actually outside the box, but I hope it can be approached with curiosity.
I want to hear your thoughts! Which of these resonates with you? How do you approach parenting and education?
