This weekend I stumbled upon a way to help kids stop arguing.
Toby, Anton and I were lucky enough to be able to rent one. friend’s house On the North Fork. How cool is this??? She has an incredible eye for color and pattern.
“Before” photo haha
But when we arrived both boys were in a foul mood. To be fair, they had had a very long week (sports day, class trips, graduation, late nights, long train rides) and were exhausted, but their bickering was driving me bananas. I sent them to another bedroom to rest, then introduced a points system where they could lose their dessert if they continued to argue. Did any of these strategies work for you? No, dear reader, it wasn’t.
Finally, at a loss, I said: “Guys, I’m not going to spend the weekend listening to two kids fighting. What can I do to make you stop?” Then, out of the blue, he added, “Would you like me to give you NICE points?”
They both stopped for a moment and looked at me. “yes?” Anton said. “What does that mean?” Toby asked. I told them, for example, that if they each got 10 points for being obviously friendly and warm to each other, we could all go to the local schoolyard and play baseball. “transaction!!!” They agreed.
And holy smokes, the effect was immediate. Immediately the boys began laughing and talking. When Toby thought about starting a national whiffleball league, Anton said, “Bro, you would actually be very good at that.” When Toby won two brass rings from the village carousel, he gave one of them to Anton so they could each ride for free.
We made it in baseball!
The whole scenario reminded me of a family camping trip I went on when I was in high school. My siblings and I didn’t get along, and my father stayed home. His End wisely. I remember thinking to myself, I don’t want to fight anymore. But at that point, it felt so awkward and vulnerable to suddenly put myself out there and be sweet to my siblings. Isn’t that funny? I feel like we are fighting. The train left the station and none of us got off.
But with the “look good” approach, they were encouraged as well as stopped. arguementBut in reality Interlink. And after the baseball game, they continued to enjoy each other’s company because they played so well. There was no need for a points system.
Our weekend ended on such a high note that I thought I’d share. And I want to listen. How do you help your kids get along? What worked? definitely what to have ~ no Did you work? Please measure the weight. We are all in this together! xoxoxo
PS Five Ways to Reduce Sibling Rivalry, Three Words That Changed the Way I Become a Parent, 21 Completely Subjective Rules for Raising Teenage Boys and Girls.
