One of our favorite newsletters – live a long time, A la carte, I broke upAnd of course, Big salad 😉 — Bess Kalb Grudge ReportShe writes about fashion, film, Judaism, politics, and raising two young children, and her topics always make me laugh and think.
Let me tell you a few things about that. pass-agg business email Beth and her toddler were talking about dinner…
Hi Goof!
At 6pm I’m asking again if you’re ready for pesto noodles.
thank you!
mom
—
Oh, sorry, I just saw it. It’s so close to mtg, I think I’ll probably have to reset it.
Sorry. Good night.
idiot
—
Actually, if it’s still available, that’s fine!
Pesto is always ready for you. Should I carry you to the chair or can you walk?
middle
—
Hello, Mom
Honestly, does pesto have kale in it?
Let me know.
G
—
Hi G!
Of course I can check for you, but would it be okay if I started for your convenience in the meantime?
middle
—
Please wait while we verify.
—
Hey, Goof,
Okay. Good news and bad news: The good news is that I’ve heard that pesto is the best thing ever. People are super excited about it (including my dad, who won’t name names). And I’m really glad that the stars are aligned to put you and your noodles in one room. On the kale side, it looks promising. Nevertheless, from a big picture perspective of growth/digestion/etc., we all think it’s definitely the right move strategically.
Since you have to take a bath at 6:30 PM, I’ll make sure you eat your pesto at 6:15 PM.
—
Here it is!
I totally get it. Sadly, after dealing with some personal issues, I don’t think it’ll work out, and I hate to do this, but I probably won’t be able to make it to 6:30. Apologies to Bath!
best,
idiot
—
Hi Goof,
I’m so sorry for the personal conflict! I hope everything is okay! We will think of you. I heard that the meeting is unfortunately not flexible. And unfortunately, the bath is not flexible either. Because I have a baby (again, not usually called that!) appointment at 6:45pm.
There is one development. I heard that if things change, they will be able to air an episode of Bluey on the iPad at 6:15 PM. But (sorry, they are really obsessed with this point) you have to eat to watch it.
thank you,
mom
—
Oh – then things change. Could we do two episodes?
G
—
Okay!! Unfortunately, the bathtub was booked twice later so only one was left.
I apologize!
mom
—
K
-idiot
—
Awesome! Have a good night!!
—
You too.
See you at 3am
—
See you next time!!!!
Beth Calve Emmy-nominated comedy writer and best-selling children’s book author. Buffalo Fluffalo. She also wrote about: Her son’s kindergarten graduation speech, Common Infant Illnessesand Things she forgot to pack for her child’s first day of schoolIn her Substack newsletter, Grudge Report.
PS Fun notes from Joanna’s kids and how to get them to eat their vegetables.
(Photo courtesy of Giorgio Magini/Stocksy.)
