I think it says something Speaking of my personality, one of my New Year’s resolutions for the past three years has been to “have more fun.” Well, not just have more fun… but learn How to have fun. My intense work ethic as a classic Enneagram 3 sometimes gets in the way of my The ultimate goal is to live life to the fullest. So every January 1st, when I write in my diary about what I want the next year to be like, I inevitably write something like this: “More joy, more laughter, more play.”
In the scheme of things, the start of 2024 is far behind us. We have passed through winter, spring, and now stand on the precipice of fall. It is perhaps the best time of the year. There is hope and promise for warmer, brighter days ahead. But often, as the excitement of our resolutions approaches months later, our drive slows down. And it can seem impossible to regain the motivation we once had.
I’ve always leaned more toward the serious side. When I’m focused on a goal, it’s hard to see beyond my carefully crafted action plan. But to become more serene, I find that breaking that script is essential to finding more joy in my daily life. When I’m on a long hike or at the beach, I can easily drift into a state of mind where I’m more focused on enjoying life than checking things off my to-do list. And of course, the beauty of nature inspires that spirit in many of us. But I think it also has to do with the fact that when the flow of life is interrupted, we feel more alive.
How to enjoy life from today
I started 2024 by downloading a book with the appropriate title. The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again. Author Catherine Price (also wrote: This other favorite) begins by analyzing her definition of “real fun.” There are many things we can think of Think It’s funny. If you look more closely, it’s not so satisfying after all. She classifies things like binge-watching shows and scrolling through social media as “fake fun.”
“Fake fun is numbing and leaves us feeling empty when it’s over. Real fun leaves us feeling nourished and refreshed.”
I believe that we can welcome play and laughter into our everyday lives while expressing empathy and compassion, even when serious things are happening around us. Inspired by my reading and experiences, I am learning to take pleasure in the small, everyday moments that bring wonder and excitement to my life.
Fun is a mindset
Here’s an example most of us face every day: making dinner. Two women are making the exact same dinner on a Tuesday night: making lasagna. One is half-paying attention to what she’s doing, mulling over a problem at work that day, cursing herself for choosing a recipe that requires multiple layers of noodles/cheese/sauce, and still has lunch to pack and emails to respond to… all of this is just too much on a Tuesday.
What about the other woman? She’s in the kitchen, barefoot, playing music, savoring the experience of doing one of her favorite things. Maybe she’ll enlist a family member to help with the layering. Maybe she’ll pour a glass of wine and savor the feeling of doing one of her favorite things on a Tuesday night. Same situation, but a completely different experience.
Or think about the simple act of having conversations with strangers, family, friends, etc., all the time. Boring conversations and conversations that are considered “jokes” or even Temptation? It all depends on how we look at it.
Real fun is playfulness, connection, and flow.
In her book, Price identifies three qualities that we must have to experience true joy in our lives: playfulness, connection, and flow. Playfulness is a light, free spirit, where you don’t think too much about the responsibilities of everyday life and you fully engage in whatever you do.
“People sparkle when they’re fooling around.”
Connection is having a shared experience with another person or thing. It can be nature, a favorite activity (like drawing), an animal, or a connection with another person. It happens when a person “feels completely like themselves with someone.”
And “flow” is a term that describes the feeling of being so absorbed in the present experience that you lose track of time. It’s a feeling of getting lost in whatever you’re doing, because it involves every part of your being.
If my goal is to get more enjoyment, I might look for experiences that incorporate all three of these qualities, or I might find ways to inject more of each into my daily life. Playfulness, connectivity, and flow As long as it exists, we get the magic of true fun.
Embrace the idea of unconditional fun
My definition of unconditional joy is: You don’t have to wait for things to go a certain way to have fun. It doesn’t depend on what’s going on around us. Rather, it’s an internal energy change. It’s a way of moving through the world without much dependence on external circumstances. Imagine a person who always seems to be having a good time. (Drew BarrymoreWho?) Magnet, right? I was looking for those little moments of joy that can be found even on imperfect days. When you pay attention, pay close attention, everything comes alive.
Break the script and have more fun
A few years ago, I read and loved a book called: The power of the moment. It’s about how we can create more memories and special moments in our lives. One of the biggest lessons for me was the concept of “breaking the script.” The idea is that by doing something unexpected, we can turn off our autopilot and turn everyday moments into something more fun.
A recent “break the script” moment I’ve embraced:
- Instead of turning on the TV after dinner, try taking a walk around the neighborhood with your family.
- Take a shower in the middle of the day while listening to a good podcast with headphones!
- Find out what you love about someone in your life and tell them about it.
- Instead of watching My kids play dodgeball and I jump in and play with them (which is also great exercise).
- Make some fancy cocktails (or mocktails!) this weekend.
- Try something you’ve never done before. I wanted to try rock climbing.
- Try creating a new recipe.
- Read poetry instead of nonfiction.
- Look for opportunities for random acts of kindness. Trust me, they happen everywhere.
- Once the kids are in their pajamas and in bed, let them know you’re going out for ice cream.
- I buy flowers for myself and spend money on peonies.
- I wake up early in the morning and do my morning meditation in my backyard. There is something about watching the sunrise that completely changes my day.
Start saying yes
Don’t get me wrong, I’m past the point where you take everything that comes your way. Instead, I’m talking about saying, Intentional Yes. That means you have considered the request and considered whether it is in line with your current energy or the goals you want to embrace. It’s all about taking a moment to pause carefully before you act. But if you have decided that you support the path you want to pursue? Then you can do everything.
Whether it’s a spontaneous trip, a new job opportunity, or simply an invitation to go for coffee with a new friend, think about what your acceptance really means and act accordingly.
Spontaneity is the spice of life.
I also learned from ~ The power of the moment That new experience seems to slow down time and etch memories into our brains. As children, we experienced many things for the first time. Instead of checking “water the plants” off our to-do list, we watched the tiny wings of hummingbirds or watched earthworms digging in the ground. I will never forget when my mother would sometimes say, “Banana splits for dinner!” Sure, it wasn’t healthy in and of itself, but the spontaneity of those nights filled my mind in a way that broccoli never could.
Instead of seeing the unknown and uncertainty in our lives as “stress,” I wonder if we can reframe it as an opportunity to reconnect with the inner child who lives each day. Back then, we couldn’t plan everything, and now, there are many things we can’t plan.
So let’s get involved in life. Smile generously, laugh easily, find opportunities to have fun, break the routine. Life is too short. I’m ready to play.
